Five years ago today I had been single for four months. So, in celebration of my 39th birthday, and to check on me in person, three of my oldest and dearest friends left their families and homes on the East Coast for the weekend. And after a lot of eating, a little drinking, and much silliness and carousing they were convinced I was fine and headed back to their families and lives.

One of these women has been my friend since I was five. Contact has waxed and waned over the years, but we’re steadfast friends. Since that day five years ago she met a nice Jewish doctor, got married and now has a delicious one-year-old baby girl.

Another one of these women has been one of my dearest friends since New Year’s Eve 1980 when we were the only ones awake at another friend’s slumber party. We talked all night long, ate a lot of bugles and bonded. She has been an integral part of my life since that day. She’s had ups and downs since that weekend five years ago, but is closer today to being where she wants to be. For that she and I are both grateful and hopeful. Plus, she sends me the absolute best presents.

Last but not least is the woman I call my sister-friend, truly comparable to no other, not to diminish the importance of the other women. Since we were 16, we’ve been best friends (with the exception of the dark year, of which we do not speak). I talk to her AND email her almost daily and on any given day can (or should) know that my 4pm phone calls on Thursdays will not be answered because she’s taking her daughter to ballet. When I call her for 5 minutes at 3:25 she knows I’m in my car waiting for school to let out. She calls me to remind me it’s her anniversary so I can call her back and wish her a happy day. We take notes on our worst days so we can let the other know how bad it is, and laugh about it. We can hang up abruptly when need be and neither takes offense. To me that is the sign of a true friendship.

And I have other old friends. One lives overseas. One lives in Florida. Still another lives in Nashville.

There is nothing like an old friend.

Unless of course, you think about your new friends.

In the past five years I’ve made a few new friends who measure up quite nicely to the very high standards set by my longtime pals. One friend makes me laugh like no other. Another has become one of my best friends in less than a year. I didn’t know that was possible if you’re over 16, but I’m here to tell you that it is. We like to pretend we’ve known each other for years and years because it feels that way and seems to make more sense. Another has moved around almost as much as me, has hit rock bottom and rebounded (yay for him). One other was first my friend, then my boss, but always my friend before my boss. Still someone else shares my strange obsession for baseball and big words. Another has adopted my entire family into her own so much so that we have our own Christmas stockings at her house.

I’ve also made friendships through my writing classes — one with an instructor/mentor who extends herself more than a human being should (she’s in therapy for that) and also with a delightful writer in Paris who has become more than just a critical eye for my work (and an agent, and a book on the way).

She — one of my newest friends — is the one who reminded me today, my 44th birthday when I become as old as she, that “you should feel happy… you have a budding talent that will blossom shortly, 2 well-adjusted kids & sexy eyewear!”

And she’s right — especially about the eyewear! (and she knows sexy, she owns a French lingerie company!)

I’m lucky — even with all the things that make my photo not show up under “lucky” in Wikipedia.

But since this is not Wikipedia…I’ll indulge myself!

Lucky:

That is not a messy kitchen behind my head. It is an illusion produced to make you think I’d rather be on the computer than clean the kitchen. Those are a dozen roses though, sent by one of the aforementioned friends. Oh, and all the falderol around the friends doesn’t mean I don’t have a kickin’ family near and far, because I have that too. And three cool dogs.